I’m Super Pistachioed That He Was A No Shell For Dessert

May 20 , 2018 by: Amber Trudeau Cookies

I’m clearly on a bit of a cranberry kick here…because my new challenge is apparently how many berries can you cran into one blog? Wakka-wakka-wakka!! (or sad trombone sound depending on how cheesy you like your puns ๐Ÿ˜‰ ).

I still had some white chocolate chips kicking around, and those definitely go with cranberries as well, so I opted to eschew (not to be confused with “achoo” here people. I might have my issues, but I promise I don’t sneeze all over my baked goods when I’m in the kitchen ๐Ÿ˜‰ ) the traditional dark chocolate chips for the more spring-like white chocolate chips.

Speaking of spring though, what’s the first colour that shows up indicating to one and all that the growing season is officially here? (or the “not growing season” if Amber gets anywhere near your plants or gardens. Greenery knows that it’s best to just give up the ghost when it smells my pheromones in the air ๐Ÿ˜‰ . Plant Bud “Finally! It’s my season to shine, I’ve been waiting absolute ages for this! Look at that sun! So warm and toasty!! Let’s stretch out our “arms” and reach for the sky and say hello to my fellow plant-ites and….Awww…s*#t…is that Amber? *sigh* Later guys…maybe next year”) Why green of course!

These puppies could also do with a little crunch, so let’s kill two birds with one stone here (because apparently I’m fine with bird murder….so long as I’m not planning on eating it after? I got nothin’) and cram (or cran ๐Ÿ˜‰ ) these cookies with some delicious pistachios as well.

I must admit that I super love pistachios. This, despite the fact that I’m about 99% sure that they were the cause of my TMJ (look it up people – Kevin told me I should define this, but I’m lazy, so you’re on your own ๐Ÿ˜‰ ) which began back when I was 13. I was eating an excessively large bowl of in-shell pistachios (I’m not even sure you could get them shelled back then. “Back in my day we didn’t have shell-free pistachios. We just popped them in our mouths straight, shells and all. Builds strong teeth. And that’s the way it was, and we liked it. WE LIKED IT!!”

Image result for and that's the way it was and we liked it meme

(sorry, I digress). When I got to the bottom of the bowl though, I had the usual over-abundance of leftover pistachios who’s shells had no crack/ opening in them. Now most people do the smart thing and either a) throw them out, or b) crack them open with a nut cracker (or a really big hammer if you’re like me and not swanky enough to own a nutcracker that you would never use even if you did own one). Not me though, pssshhhaww I say. My teeth are totally strong enough to crack these open. Which, spoiler alert, they actually were! My jaw however did not agree to participate in this pistachio-ing activity and chose to cause me horrible pain followed by a lifetime of random jaw pain and jaw tension.

Worth it? Some might say no, but to me….no…you’re right…still not worth it ๐Ÿ˜‰ .

Be sure to make this with shelled pistachios, unless you too want a jaw that’s pistachioed at you for life.

White Chocolate Cranberry Pistachio Cookies

Yield: 2 dozen

Ingredients

  • 1/4 cup + 2 tablespoons vegan butter, melted
  • 2 tablespoons shortening
  • 3/4 cups packed brown sugar
  • 2 tablespoons maple syrup
  • 2 tablespoons of corn syrup
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla
  • 1/2 teaspoon maple extract
  • 1/2 teaspoon rose extract
  • 1 1/2 cups flour (use bread flour for chewier cookies)
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
  • pinch of salt
  • 1/2 teaspoon cardamon
  • 1/4 teaspoon ginger
  • 1/8 teaspoon nutmeg
  • 1/2 cup pistachios
  • 1/2 cup vegan white chocolate chips
  • 1/2 cup dark chocolate chips/ chunks

Directions

  1. Preheat oven to 325F and either grease or line a baking sheet with silpat or parchment paper.
  2. In a medium sized bowl, beat together butter, shortening, brown sugar, maple syrup, vanilla, maple extract and rose extract.
  3. In a separate bowl, sift together the flour, baking soda and salt and spices.
  4. Add the pistachios and white and dark chocolate to the dry mixture and stir until they’re flour-coated.
  5. Stir into the wet mixture in two batches untilย just mixed (no need to over mix).
  6. Using a cookie scoop, scoop balls of cookie dough and place onย cookie sheet about an inch apart.
  7. Bake for 6-8 minutes, or until only the very edges of the cookies start to brown (if even that long if you want them to remain chewier).
  8. Store in an airtight container at room temperature.

 

Directions

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2 Comments

  • If this is a humanitarian effort on your part to prevent pistachios from causing others TMJ, than good work! ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป

    • haha ๐Ÿ™‚ Yeah, let’s go with that as well!

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About Amber

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Hi, I'm Amber Trudeau. ย I bake.... a lot.

I'm also vegan, and found that whenever I went out to a restaurant my dessert choices were limited to sorbet, sorbet, and sorbet. ย So I started making my own desserts. I wanted them to taste good though - so my ultimatum was to make delicious desserts that also happen to be dairy-free and egg-free. Every week or so, I challenge myself to try something new. ย To recreate some kind of traditional dessert that tastes amazing without using animal products.

Have a challenge for me? Send me a note:

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