Alright, here’s the real Halloween post (not like that fake-out post from last week 😉 ). This week I bring you a veritable smorgasbord of super fast/easy Halloween desserts of both the healthy (booo!!!) and unhealthy (yeah!!!!) variety. So, you know, be afraid, be very afraid…or whatever. Complete side note here, but don’t you love how the juice from the orange makes him look like he’s crying? (You’d be crying too if someone just stabbed you in the face with chocolate chips….ok, maybe you wouldn’t cry about that, but you would cry about being lobotomized by a small piece of celery. First because…lobotomized, but second because that has got to be the most embarrassing party anecdote story every. “So how’d you get that hole in your head Jim?” “Celery accident” “Care to elaborate on that at all?” “No”. Conversation over).
So Kevin and I opted to host a little Halloween party the weekend before Halloween (punningly named “Witchcraft Brew Halloween Party” since it was a “bring your favourite craft beer and scare everyone with how amazingly delicious your hidden gem of a brew is. ‘Cause, you know, you’re all crafty like that. Argh, make me stop). I was super impressed with the fact that everyone actually came in costume (and not just “I’m going to throw on a pair of black thick rimmed glasses and say I’m a hipster” – everyone was really awesome and creative with their costumes, so hat’s off to all who were there!). We even had a costume contest (which I sadly did not win 🙁 . Although I suppose if I had won everyone would’ve accused me of being hugely biased since I did the counting of the ballots…don’t think super cheating didn’t cross my mind though. Luckily I was not part of the federal election ballot counting crew since you clearly can’t trust me at all 😉 ).
I really just wanted to make a few fun time snacks to go along with said party, so most of these practically don’t need an explanation, let alone a “recipe” (step one, cut apples, step 2, slather with peanut butter, a bit of jam and some almond sliver “teeth”, step 3, dust off hands in a self-congratulatory way before placing hands on hips à la Superman and saying “My work here is done!”. This plan may also involve wearing a cape and setting up a fan that will blow the cape victoriously behind your shoulders as you say this. Just a suggestion 😉 ).
I very strongly believe that these apple mouths should be eating the pretzel eyeballs. Why didn’t I think of this before? Hindsight they name is regret 🙁 .
In addition to these simple (yet healthy, although dare I still say delicious?) apply bits of goodness, my second healthy thing was these raw vegan witch fingers. They did taste good, but more granola bar-y and less dessert-y than I hoping for. Because of that, I opted to make a little “blood” dip for them. The dip turned out fairly tasty, but would be confused in no known universe for blood. The “recipe” provided below for these is not exactly what I did since I didn’t really keep track of what I was doing, it’s just my better suggestion of what you could think about doing to avoid my tragic trial and error process. My problem was that I kept trying to add things to fix the colour, but finally just gave up (which is why this dip contains raspberry sourpuss, jam, a bit of cherry juice. Then I added cocoa to try and tone down the overly pale pinkness, but I added too much, so I tried adding a bit more icing sugar, but that just made it a paler brown. Then I thought about bleeding my own blood so the dip would be really legitimate:
But then I thought, no, I don’t think my body can take losing the amount of blood required for this 😉 .
So instead I ended up with what I’m just going to call witch blood dip (I mean, you can’t tell me that you know that witch’s blood isn’t that colour right? Unless of course you’ve been in a witch fight I don’t know about in which you deer shanked a witch (thank you picnicface for that imagery). If so, I will gladly take your opinion under advisement 😉 ).
….and yes, I know what these fingers actually resemble. Let’s not talk about it.
These may be a little too super adorable to be considered Halloween scary. Although, when you’re eating them, remind yourself that you’re eating a face!!! and eyeballs!!!!! You’re clearly a cannibal. I’m just saying.
Hope everyone had a great Halloween! I know it would’ve been more useful to post this before Halloween, but I see no reason why you can’t just rename everything here and call it Christmas instead. Those witches fingers? Reindeer droppings! (those are some big reindeer 😉 ). The pretzel faces? Wide eyed children on Christmas morning! As I ‘ve said many a time…it’s all in the marketing. Enjoy!
- Melted chocolate chips
- chocolate chips (as many as you need for the number of Googly eyes you decide to make)
- Googly eyes (use recipe for Fire and Ice Patties, but omit peppermint and cinnamon extracts – unless you want them to be flavoured)
- Make Googly eyes dough following Fire and Ice Patties recipe, but make much smaller “eye-sized” circles. Press the pointy side of the chocolate chip into the centre of each circle for the iris.
- Line a baking sheet with wax paper.
- Melt chocolate chips in the microwave for about a minute. Stir until fully melted.
- Dip pretzels in chocolate and top with googly eyes.
- 4 dates with pits removed
- 2 tablespoons water
- 2 cups of whatever nuts you have on hand (I used equal parts walnuts, almonds and cashews)
- 2 tablespoons cocoa powder
- Sliced almonds
Optional Blood Dip Ingredients
- Icing Sugar
- Vegan cream cheese
- Combine dates water in a food processor until paste is formed.
- Add 2 cups of nuts and cocoa powder and blend until fully combined.
- Using about a tablespoon of dough, form into “fingers” and top each with a sliced almond.
- Store in the refrigerator. Serve with “blood dip” if desired (you could also just use a raspberry jam. If you’re making the full dip, then, using an electric mixer, combine jam, icing sugar and some vegan cream cheese to sweeten and thicken it up a little).