I know, I know, you’re thinking “didn’t you just do some kind of oatmeal bar thing? Way to be original Amber. I thought I knew you, for shame. Tsk, tsk, tsk.” (And now you’re thinking “How is she such a magical, mystical mind reader??!! I better only think good thoughts about Amber, otherwise she might rain down on me with a little evil karma…or something.” And you would be right 😉 ).
However, as I said last week, me+oatmeal=match made in heaven. Our celebrity name, in case you ever need to refer to me alongside my inanimate love, is “Oatber” FYI 😉 .
I know for many people, dessert requires chocolate as a pre-requisite to even be allowed to be called dessert, and I do often kowtow to that mindset in order to share the wealth/ bounty (and trust me, I obviously have nothing at all against chocolate, so please don’t misunderstand me!). This week though I’m going to be completely selfish and make fruity boozy oatmeal bars and you’ll all just have to like it or lump it. I mean really, I don’t even know what you’re whining about if I’m being perfectly honest, how can you not believe that oatmeal+fruit+booze = heaven? Besides, if you really need a chocolate kick as well, feel free to mix some chocolate chips into the filling of these bad boys, or drizzle some chocolate (or peanut butter mixed with chocolate would also be delicious) on top when they’re done. I promise I will not lean over your shoulder and slap your hand for not following a recipe exactly. I know I never do. I don’t follow anyone’s recipes exactly, not even my own. Almost everything I make is slightly different every time. Variety is the spice of life right? Sure that’s just sometimes due to not having certain ingredients on hand, but that can be our little secret right? 😉 . “Ummm, Amber? I don’t think you understand the meaning of the word “secret”. I think that the word you really meant to use there was “completely public knowledge, known by anyone with the minimal literacy skills required to read the previous sentence.” Also, I clearly don’t know what the meaning of the word “word” is 😉 .
Maybe I should just completely embrace it and call this “bars” month. I do actually have a couple of other bar recipes I’ve been daydreaming about making. Alas, I feel like I just can’t do that now because I ideally would’ve gone back in time so that I could have my main “bars” pun before each individualized sub pun. Oh well, I guess I just set the bar too high this month. Barring some kind of miracle, that just can’t happen now. I’m “bar”-ly keeping it together here. This is getting out of control, I need to put these puns behind bars. Ok, I’ll stop now, before I become officially known as the “Bar”-oness of bad puns. Hello? Is anybody still out there?
Well, now that it’s only us pun-loving folk who are still here, feel free to add your own deliciously hilarious bar puns in the comments below (or really, any puns about anything, I love ’em and I’m not picky 🙂 ).
Now as I’ve said before, bars are not particularly aesthetically pleasing much of the time (at least in my personal view), but there is most definitely something to be said for a baked good whereby you can just throw any ingredients you like into your baking dish and rest assured that even if it doesn’t turn out exactly as you’d envisioned, it will at the very least remain in it’s self-contained container (as long as you don’t overfill it of course. Because there is nothing funny about the molten lava that is boiled over sugary substances coating the entire inside of your oven. Nor is there any hilarity to be found in the attempt to clean said indestructible matter from all your ovenly surfaces. Nothing. Nothing funny at all. Possibly I’m speaking from personal experience here, who can say? I can say, trust me, it’s bad news bears). For example, your bars didn’t set up properly and are now more liquidy than you’d envisioned? Rechristen your dish “Crumble Pudding” and no one shall be the wiser. You accidentally overbaked it and now you’re worried you’ll break your (and other people’s) teeth on it while eating? Crisis averted by simply renaming them “Toffee Candy Crumble Bars”! Overbaked them and worried they’re too burnt for consumption? “Blackened Smoked Toasted Oatmeal Bars”, and everyone’s taste expectations are now met 🙂 . Basically, whatever happens, that’s what was meant to happen right? Oh bars, you are my favourite co-conspirator in the coverup of a myriad of baking sins.
I don’t even know why I went on that rant, nothing bad happened here at all, in fact these took me like 5 seconds to make, and perfectly fulfilled all my oatmeal desires.
Booze on oatmeal, booze on.
Yield: 16 large bars or 25 smaller bars
Ingredients: Bars
- 1/2 cup vegan butter
- 1/2 cup packed dark brown sugar
- 1/4 cup pumpkin pie filling (or just purréed pumpkin is fine as well)
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 3/4 cups flour
- 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
- 1 teaspoon cinnamon
- 1/2 teaspoon ginger
- 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
- 1/4 teaspoon cardamon
- 1/4 teaspoon cloves
- pinch of salt
- 1 3/4 cups old fashioned oats
- cane sugar (optional)
Ingredients: Filling
- Heaping 1/2 cup rum soaked fruit (ideally soaked overnight or longer. Feel free to use whatever fruit you like (or just one kind like raisins is fine too.). If using larger fruit like figs or dates, be sure to chop into bite sized pieces before soaking in rum).
- 1/3 cup pumpkin pie filling
- 1 teaspoon cinnamon
- 1/2 teaspoon ginger
- 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
- 1/4 teaspoon cardamon
- 1/4 teaspoon cloves
Directions
- Preheat oven to 350°F and lightly grease (or line with parchment paper) an 8×8 baking dish.
- In a large bowl, cream together the butter, brown sugar, pumpkin pie filling and vanilla until fully combined.
- In a medium sized bowl, sift together the flour, baking soda, spices and salt. Stir in oats.
- Stir dry mixture into wet mixture in a few batches, mixing between each until fully combined.
- Press half of the oat mixture into the bottom of your baking dish and reserve the other half in the bowl. Place both the dish and the bowl in the fridge for 30 minutes (or the freezer for 10 minutes), while you make the filling.
- In a small bowl, stir together all of the filling ingredients. Chill for 10-15 minutes to thicken slightly.
- Remove baking dish and filling from the fridge. Spread filling evenly over base layer of oat mixture. Top with remaining reserved oat mixture, pressing down lightly with the back of a spoon or spatula to spread evenly.
- Bake for 30 minutes. If desired, remove from the oven and sprinkle with a bit of cane sugar and return to the oven for 5 minutes to slightly brown and crisp the sugar. Allow to cool completely before cutting into bars.
- Store in the refrigerator.
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